“First, you [budget] for a reason. Then, you do it out of habit. And sometimes, you start to believe you don’t deserve anything else,” Sethi said. “It goes beyond saving money on coffee. And sometimes in situations like this, you start to realize how narrow your life has become.”
While Angela would like to retire in the next five years, she fears Brian will feel like he needs to work “till he is 80,” she said.
Sethi walked the couple through retirement projections to show how their investments could change if they decide to put away more each month or retire later. But he warned that the financial logistics won’t matter so much if they can’t get on the same page about how they want to spend their time and money.
“The two of you have so many different options,” Sethi said. “But I don’t think any of it happens if you’re not actually connected, starting right now.”
In addition to showing them that they can afford the date nights and some of the immediate travel Angela would like to do, Sethi encouraged Brian to initiate planning nights out so he can get as excited about a date as Angela. And when Angela asks him to try a new restaurant or activity, “sometimes we just have to say yes and our feelings change later,” Sethi said.
Brian agreed he needs to “not give in, but compromise,” he said. “I think I need to be a better husband and compromise and rebuild the foundation of this relationship.”
Even if it’s small things like going out for coffee, planned activities together will help the couple start “getting those adventurous feelings back,” Sethi said.
They’re currently on track to have nearly $1.5 million in investments if they retire in five years and could see that value surpass $2 million if they wait 10 years. But either way, they are able to afford reasonable outings and activities, he told them.
“Whether it’s joining a group together or trying some new stuff, that brings you way closer,” Sethi said.
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