SINGAPORE: A woman in her early 20s took to social media on Sunday (Sept 14) to share that dating these days has become “so draining.”
In a post that resonated with many, she expressed that modern dating feels like an endless carousel of job interviews, as the men she meets constantly probe into her career, family background, and social standing to assess her value in a relationship.
“They are so much more interested in my job, how much I earn, and what my family does. Nothing is about us,” she wrote on the r/sgdatingscene forum. “All they want to know is what I can bring to the table.”
She added that what makes dating even more exhausting is not just the repetitive nature of these questions, but the fact that some men even try to compete with her personal milestones.
“I feel like I’m in a rat race while dating to see who’s more accomplished,” she said. “Whenever I go on dates, guys get so shocked, like ‘wow, you’re only starting out your job?’, and mind you, they are also in their early twenties.”
To make matters worse, she said that after enduring these tiring “interviews,” things rarely turn exclusive. According to her, these men just “see how things go, play it by ear,” and eventually their conversations fizzle out, leaving her stuck in an endless cycle of meeting men and repeating the same routine.
Looking back, she compared this with her university days, when dating felt far more natural.
“In uni, it felt more relaxed, you have that intuition that you both like each other and mutually take things to the next level, but in this working-dating world, it’s god awful, and I can’t tell who is genuine and who isn’t.”
Many Singaporean women who came across her post said they could relate.
One shared, “I’m in my mid-30s, and I’ve felt this way in the last one to two years. It’s awful and tiring. I miss those days, just getting to know people and naturally forming relationships out of connections. Now it’s more calculated, and people are scared of being hurt or used.”
Another wrote, “From what I hear from my female friends, you’re not alone in your experience. I’ve noticed a lot of guys in their 20s asking about a girl’s job, salary, career path, etc., like they’re trying to size each other up. Honestly, that’s not date material. That’s just insecurity in my opinion.”
They added, “A more emotionally mature guy will see you as a person, not a CV. My advice: Don’t waste energy entertaining people who only size you up by career stats, filter them out early and save your time for the ones who actually want you.”
Interestingly, a few men also chimed in, saying that the same could be said about women when it comes to dating in Singapore.
One individual commented, “I guess dating in Singapore is very transactional and superficial, from my experience as a male, the opposite gender would always ask about my monthly income, if I drive, and etc. Furthermore, not long ago, I was dating a girl, turns out she has a bf. I was utterly speechless by the turn of events that kinda scarred me from ever dating again.”
In other news, a fresh grad who’s earning S$3,200 per month admitted on social media that he still struggles with financial anxiety, to the point where it sometimes keeps him up at night.
The young lad wrote in a post on the r/singaporefi forum that he’s been diligently following the 50/30/20 budgeting rule since entering the workforce.
