A woman is feeling put off by her partner’s grandmother’s thorny response to her thoughtful gesture.
In a post on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnet, the woman explained that she, her partner and their daughter recently attended a barbecue at his grandparents’ home. The next day, to thank them for their hospitality, she sent “a beautiful bouquet of flowers” to their house, along with a card.
“I ordered from a local florist, a small company who have been amazing in the past,” the OP (original poster) noted. “They delivered the flowers on the date and time they said they would. [The flowers] were left on the doorstep as [my partner’s] grandparents were out for most of the day (little did I know, as I wanted the flowers to be a surprise for them).”
A few days later, the OP was surprised to learn that her gift was not as well-received as she had hoped.
“I got a message from [my partner’s] grandma a few days later (as I hadn’t heard on the delivery day) to say thanks but 2 of the [flower] heads were drooping/had died as they were out for the day etc.,” the OP wrote. “So she then proceeded to send me another message the day after that to say she had got hold of the company and got them to send another replacement.”
This detail irked the OP.
“So really she has £60 [or $80] worth of free flowers? She has binned the supposedly ‘dead ones’ and kept the other 80% ‘alive’ ones and gained even more!” she explained.
“I don’t know why it’s really bothering me. I thought it’s at least the thought that counts. Like it wasn’t good enough,” she continued, questioning, “Maybe it’s me!!??”
She then noted that one sticking point is that she recently hosted a barbecue of her own at her home, and the grandmother “didn’t bring so much as a bottle of wine.”
The OP reiterated her distaste with the grandmother’s decision to demand a replacement bouquet.
“I just feel it’s a bit ungrateful — to request for a small company to send another bunch free of charge but it’s your fault as you were out all day,” she concluded her post.
In the comments, readers had mixed opinions on the situation. Some saw nothing wrong with what the grandmother did and placed the blame on the florist.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“Both you and she deserve to have a bouquet that lasts rather than one dying. It shouldn’t matter it was left out all day — if the florist had packaged it properly, they would have included water to ensure the flowers stayed fresh,” one person wrote.
Another reader agreed, writing, “It wasn’t a slight on you…it wasn’t her being unreasonable… this is normal in the flower realm. The unspoken rule about flowers is that the recipient knows you have no control over the state of the flowers delivered. You only get the gratitude for sending them, but if there is a problem, of course you want to know.”
Another commenter suggested that the grandmother was simply being mindful of the money the OP spent on the blooms.
“She likely knew you’d spent a fair bit, and was cross on your behalf that they’d gone over,” they pointed out. “The florist could have left them with a neighbor or even tried to deliver again the next day, which would’ve negated the need to replace.”
Still, others agreed with the OP’s stance that the grandmother could have handled the gift more graciously.
“That would make me feel a bit 😕 too,” one person commented. “Quick to complain but no thought to thank.”
Someone else chimed in: “My reply to her would have been ‘ah great, glad you got the flowers’ … and never send anything again. Lesson learned because although you paid for flowers and she deserved to receive flowers, the thought counts for a lot and she was kind of meddling and irritating.”
