opinionAdrian Barich: Teaching kids how to deal with failure sets them up for successAdrian Barich STMSun, 28 September 2025 1:35AMCommentsComments
Righto good people of Perth, gather round the barbecue of life: it’s time for a bit of Dadvice.
This week’s topic? Teaching kids to deal with failure.
Seems fitting, doesn’t it? Because yesterday, 23 elite athletes and a small army of players who missed out (like me), the coaches and club staff sat at the MCG, exhausted, broken, and tried to smile politely while confetti rained down on the other mob.
Four million people watching on TV. Almost 100,000 at the ground. And not one corner to hide in.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
It was 1991. Grand Final day. West Coast Eagles vs Hawthorn. We’d been the best team all year. First WA team in a VFL grand final. All of WA was riding us like Media Puzzle in the Melbourne Cup that year.
And bang. Game over. Dreams shattered.
And let me tell you, for the players who represented their club that day, losing on the biggest day of your life stings like nothing else. You don’t want to hear cliches. You don’t want a pat on the back. You want to crawl into a hole. But that’s the moment you find out what you’re really made of.
And that’s the lesson we should try to pass on to our kids.
Because failure is not a dirty word. It’s not something to avoid or pretend doesn’t exist. Failure is part of life. Like the sausage sizzle at Bunnings.
You want to raise strong kids? Don’t teach them to be afraid of failure. Teach them how to handle it.
And let’s be honest, kids hate losing. Doesn’t matter if it’s footy, Fortnite, or the school cross country. They wear it. It hurts. And your job is to walk them through it.
You can start with this line: “Even legends stuff up.”
Then maybe you tell them a story, possibly self-deprecating — like the time I was steaming through the middle of the MCG, bounced the ball on the rock-hard cricket pitch, and it flew back over my head. My opponent scooped it up and booted a goal.
At the home of football no less. True story. I still wake up thinking about it. Thankfully, Instagram didn’t exist back then, because it would’ve gone viral before we got on the plane back to Perth.
But that’s the point. Even the pros (or semi-pros in this case) get it wrong. Anyone can have an off day. The best in the world lose, and not just once. They lose a lot. Basketball’s greatest icon Michael Jordan said this: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Which brings us to Brownlow night.
Poor Nick Daicos. The look on his face said it all. You could almost hear his internal monologue: “Wait . . . I missed out again!”
Now I love Matt Rowell — tackling machine, built like a brick outhouse, eats raw grass before a game — but there’s no doubt Nick felt like he’d been robbed. Three straight years of incredible footy and still no medal.
But it happens, mate.
That’s another lesson for the kids: sometimes you lose even when you’ve done everything right. Sometimes the votes don’t go your way. Sometimes someone else gets the ribbon, the trophy, the moment. All you can do is smile and say “well done” (even if you feel like flipping the table).
And that’s OK. That’s life.
Ponder this grasshopper: failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s part of it.
You fall off the bike, you get back on.
You burn the toast, you eat it anyway . . . because you’re a dad, and dads don’t waste toast.
You bomb an exam, miss a kick, drop a catch, get knocked out in round one — and then you show up again next week and go again.
It’s not about teaching your kids to be OK with losing. It’s about teaching them what to do with it.
Do they sulk? Give up? Do they throw the controller across the room?
Or do they say, “Yeah, that sucked, but I’ll have another crack!”
Resilience doesn’t come from winning. It comes from losing well. It comes from learning how to take the hit, wipe your tears, and keep moving. That’s how you build strong kids. And strong people.
So next time your young one cops a loss, try this:
Don’t say, “It’s OK”. Say, “I know that hurt. But guess what? We’re not done”.
Then maybe take them on a Macca’s run. Works every time at my place.
Because at the end of the day, footy is a game, life is long, and failure? Failure is just the training ground for greatness.
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