Whether you know me or you’re a stranger reading this, I want you to picture this. We’re standing across from each other and holding hands. We smile at each other and look around us. Once we decide on a direction, we start walking together. That destiny will lead us forward into a shared future where we, along with others who join us, share our ideas, laughter, our insecurities, and our dreams.
How does that sound? Glorious, doesn’t it?
As we step into this imagined journey together, it naturally leads me to think about the social dimension of our lives and the friendships that give them depth.
Lately, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about friendships and the social aspect of my life and our lives. Brené Brown says that “Connection is why we’re here. It is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
And this is what I tell myself. Only in the social context does my life have true meaning. I’m someone’s mom, daughter, friend, and coworker. And that means my life matters, and I can make meaningful contributions to those to whom I matter.
I used to think friendships were a natural part of our lives, something that just evolved organically. Lately, I’m not so sure. Some of us seem to have thousands of friends or followers and very few meaningful connections in person. In our busy and distracted lives, even though we’re tethered to connections 24/7, deep conversations have been replaced by quick heart emojis.
See, I’m not saying that technology is part of the problem. After all, how else would I be a part of 27 WhatsApp groups of friends from 3rd grade to now without the miracle of social media?
And yet, beyond the screens and emojis, there is something timeless about connection that technology cannot replace.
A friend of mine with a fabulous green thumb has a collection of indoor plants, and it’s always a joy to visit her home. I get to see all the silent living things that are quiet witnesses to our shared experiences of joy and tragedy that keep unfolding in our lives.
There’s one plant that’s not only absolutely gorgeous, but also feels like a living illustration of how our relationships grow. The string of pearls is a succulent with green beads that cascade into long strings around and out of the pot. These tiny pearls are the small moments in our lives, connected together by invisible threads of trust and connection.
And that’s what the magic of human connection feels like to me. Each little pearl is a memory — a sleepover party where we laughed till we lost our voices, a hard conversation with a friend after she lost her unborn baby, the eye rolls and the jabs we gave as we talked about ridiculous people (everyone else is ridiculous but us, right?).
The other fascinating thing about the string of pearls is that it thrives on balance. Too much water and it collapses; too little and it shrivels. Seems like the perfect secret to all our relationships. We learn to care for our loved ones in just the right way, checking in once in a while, and giving space without disappearing altogether — sometimes for decades. Full disclosure: my kids call me “smother” instead of “mother,” but I will leave this relationship out of the equation LOL.
As Maya Angelou said, “I am convinced that most people do not grow up… We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.” Indeed, connection begins when we recognize the child inside another person.
Kids today are forming relationships in a world where talking has become typing and connection happens through glass. We’re raising a generation that has thousands of online “friends” but struggles to maintain eye contact. They can keep a streak on Snapchat, but not a difficult conversation. They are always tethered to the internet, yet astonishingly lonely.
Here’s the thing: the world is evolving quickly, but the human heart hasn’t changed much. Real friendship still asks for the same ancient things: showing up, paying attention, risking awkwardness, forgiving slowness, telling the truth even when it’s inconvenient. It must be the first skill we teach our children to survive in a world of digital debris — by building and sustaining meaningful friendships. Because one true friendship can beat 300 anonymous online followers.
Even as screens threaten to replace presence, the fundamentals remain unchanged. The world itself has always been our classroom.
The world has always been our original classroom. And the skill of friendship, combined with empathy, character, and courage, can elevate the game of life at the playground.
And in a world where it’s easy to feel invisible, thank heavens for our friends. A true friendship should set your most innate thoughts free. It should feel like you’re peering into your own soul when you’re having conversations with them. Go chase and keep those ones who toast your heart in their company.
Because in the end, our lives will be measured by the length and loveliness of the strands we leave behind. Delicate, breakable, and absolutely beautiful.
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