I don’t remember if I read this on a greeting card, a meme or what but it has really stuck with me and helped me understand so much. For most of my younger life I wandered around wondering why friends I thought would be friends for life were no longer there for me. I had this idea in my head that if someone was truly a friend they would be there for life.
The fact is, there are many different levels of friendships and relationships and if people were more accepting of this fact, they would ultimately be much happier. If people were more honest with one another and more clearly defined what their relationship was, it would save a lot of misunderstanding and heartache. If people would learn to move on from a relationship that was over, they would be better off; learn what there was to learn from it, but move on.
All the people that come into your life just are not going to be friends for your whole life and that is OK, those kind of friendships are rare. If you have one person in your life that is friends with you for life you are truly blessed. Those types of friendships are usually between a married couple who stay together for life.
Know the value of just being a friend. Why is it that every opposite sex relationship thinks they have to be boyfriend/girlfriend? Why can’t we just have guys that are good friends and girls that are good friends? Even a marriage relationship needs to have a strong foundation of friendship. What is a friend anyway? Well, it is a person you know and with whom you have a bond of mutual affection. Friendship is exclusive of sexual or family relations. Although your spouse should be your best friend, still your friendship should have nothing to do with sexual relations. And as far as family, yes, you may have a friend who is also related to you but even then your friendship should not have anything to do with being related to them. These two explanations are what I mean by ‘Friendship is exclusive of sexual or family relations’. Don’t undervalue friendship, both having friends and being a good friend.
The Bible has this to say about friendship: “A good friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”(Proverbs 17:17). In other words they are there for you no matter what. I found out who my true friends were when I became a Christian and several of my so-called friends dropped me like a hot potato. All through my life people that I thought were my friends weren’t there when I needed them most. When I was going through cancer and needed a friend I found out how many true friends I had. Look at what the Word has to say about the value of friendship: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6) “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17). 1 Samuel 18:1 describes the friendship of Jonathan and David being so strong that their ‘souls were knit together’. These are the type of human relations we should desire on all levels, whether friend or spouse.
So remember, people enter our lives for a “reason, a season, or a lifetime.” By embracing the diverse nature and varying depths of relationships — from social acquaintances and fun-loving companions to trusted counselors and spiritual confidantes — we can foster greater happiness and avoid unnecessary heartache. Recognizing that true lifetime friendships are rare and often found in the deepest bonds, like marriage, allows us to appreciate each connection for what it is, valuing the unique role every individual plays in our journey, and learning to move on gracefully when a particular season of a relationship concludes. Ultimately, I just want to encourage you to be good friends, understand the various forms friendship takes, and cherish the profound impact these connections have, as echoed by timeless biblical wisdom.
I am an observer of people. I have a little psychology background, but mostly I am a ‘student of people’. You can learn a lot by watching other people. You can learn from others’ mistakes if you are wise and choose not to make the same mistakes they made. One thing I have observed for a long time, though, is that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the kind of people they hang out with. And I am amazed at the people who can’t figure out why they have such miserable lives when all they hang out with are losers and bad influences. Lowering the bar in your life will only attract a lower class of people. Set your standard high and that is the class of people you will attract. Whether people consciously observe you or not, you can bet people around you notice you. They look at the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and the people you hang out with. Like it or not, if you are smart, you will be the person you really want to attract. If you want to attract losers, takers and abusers, then hang out with losers, takers and abusers…but don’t blame anyone but yourself if that is all you attract. Any successful business person will tell you that part of the reason for their success is hanging out with successful people. They watch people who are modeling a certain characteristic and they become more and more like they want to be. You can’t get anywhere good or worthwhile hanging out with negative people. They will drain you and still demand more.
I hope you find these tips useful. Maybe you have few to add yourself. There does seem to be a law of attraction so beware and choose wisely who you allow in your life. Learn to step back and assess a relationship objectively. Show me who your friends are and I can predict what your future will be like.
“The Sleepwalker is neither evil or good in as much as we understand the meanings of these words. Yet as the fire can burn you though it be your friend so is this Sleepwalker neutral until he comes too close and he weakens you when he is near. He often appears when there has been peace for long periods of time and people have become complacent. He will walk among those whom are nodding on the edges of spiritual sleep, lulled to sleep by their own illusion of some comfort zone they have surrounded themselves with. As the Creator spoke long ago, ‘Let not your blades dull and rust in times of peace for the enemy is always near waiting for you to fall asleep in the arms of false security’. This makes the Sleepwalker neither bad or good for his coming near can be a warning to rise up and be alert or he has the right or perhaps I should say an opening, to close your eyes. Should he take your strength, should he rock you to sleep with his presence, beware for when you awaken you may not recognize the world you awaken in. It is his sleep that you may not awaken from at all and by doing so indirectly you invite the enemy to your camp.”
Read more on Patheos – Seek. Understand.
