It’s not enough to just try to overcome adversity and get past obstacles that inevitably arise. Think of it as a key part of your training and growth.
“Adversity is leadership’s tuition,” said Skip Prichard, Columbus, Ohio-based chief executive of nonprofit global library technology and research provider OCLC and author of “The Book of Mistakes.” “You don’t get to graduate to higher opportunities without paying it. And every leader I’ve ever known who has made a lasting impact went through a moment that could have broken them but didn’t.”
His friend Capt. Charlie Plumb was a prisoner of war in Vietnam. After flying 75 successful combat missions, he was shot down on the next one. He spent six years in a Vietnamese prison. “To see him grow and respond in those horrible conditions puts everything in perspective for me,” he said.
The ability to overcome adversity is a necessity for people to improve, says Jody Michael, Chicago-based leadership coach, psychotherapist and author who is chief executive of Jody Michael Associates.
“Resilience is the difference between a leader who survives adversity and one who grows stronger because of it,” Michael said. “Leaders and professionals who thrive are able to metabolize setbacks very quickly, so failure doesn’t become a detour. It’s just part of the path. I don’t think there’s a greater skill you can build.”
Failure paralyzes those who lack the ability to overcome adversity, Michael says. But if you’re resilient, failure becomes your fuel. “You’re not just bouncing back, you’re bouncing forward,” Michael said.
Overcome setbacks by reframing failure in your mind, author Prichard says. Look at what you learned from the experience rather than simply seeing it as a mistake. “Successful people see setbacks as steppingstones to doing greater things,” he said. “They learn from failure and use it to help them get to a better answer. They just keep going.”
Accept that things don’t often go according to plan. “Every breakthrough I’ve seen in business had a trail of mistakes behind it,” Prichard said. “If you want to be perfect, just stay in bed. If you want to have an extraordinary life, expect to have a few dents along the way.”
Surround yourself with others who can help lift you up. People’s energy and stamina ebbs and flows.
People face three common obstacles blocking them from overcoming adversity, Michael says. They lack self-awareness, so their negative thoughts and moods kill resilience. They feel “discomfort with discomfort,” meaning they go into denial when things go wrong. And they blame others.
Avoid falling into those traps by building self-awareness. If you’re being negative, catch yourself.
“Ask yourself, ‘How else can I look at this situation? How can I learn?'” Michael said. Understand that feeling uncomfortable won’t break you, but avoiding those feelings will.
And look in the mirror first rather than blaming others. She calls it radical accountability. Rather than saying your bosses stress you out, see their feedback as a way to make you better.
Practice this each time you face an obstacle. “Small setbacks are training reps for the bigger ones that will come,” Michael said. “Each time you recover, you reinforce neural pathways that make bouncing back easier next time.”
Get everyone on your team to build their adversity muscle by modeling that behavior. “If the leader panics, the team will, too,” Michael said. “If the leader models resilience, they’re actively shaping culture.”
Prichard suggests celebrating not just success but also the recovery after a failed sales pitch or project. And instead of referencing “failure,” call it an “experiment.”
“If you punish every mistake, you’ll find your organization makes no mistakes,” Prichard said. “They won’t try new things. Then you’re protecting the status quo and you’ll soon become irrelevant. You only take risks if you have safety, which comes from building resilient teams.”
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