A growing number of middle-aged and older Korean men are falling into “relationship poverty,” as unemployment, retirement and family discord sever social ties and push them into isolation that existing welfare systems struggle to reach.
Those affected by relationship poverty often did not see it coming, as in the case of 67-year-old Kim Sang-min, who worked for more than 20 years at a major construction company before retiring.
Kim tried his hand at several businesses after retiring, but none worked out. As debts piled up, his family life fell apart. He got divorced, after which he lost contact with his spouse and daughter.
It’s been five years since he moved to Sillim-dong, a neighborhood in southern Seoul packed with one-room accommodations, where he lives alone. His health has since deteriorated. After undergoing surgery for a herniated disk, he can no longer take on day labor. He survives day by day on meals provided by charities.
Going outside feels like a “luxury” to Kim. He may meet a close friend once a year, if that. After being defrauded by a neighbor he trusted, he became reluctant to form new relationships. Even when friends text or call, Kim avoids responding.
“I live because I can’t die,” Kim said in a phone interview with the JoongAng Ilbo. It had been “the first time in days” that he opened his mouth to talk to someone else.
Men in their 40s to 60s, like Kim, are considered a benchmark high-risk group for relationship poverty. A significant number of middle-aged men are sliding toward what experts call an “isolation formula” — job loss, retirement or business failure followed by divorce and then the severing of social ties.
Many of these men rarely ask for help, even during hardship. Experts describe them as a “new welfare blind spot” vulnerable to isolation and withdrawal.
The pattern was self-evident, according to an analysis of 20 cases by a JoongAng Ilbo special reporting team focused on men in their 40s to 60s, welfare officials and individuals cited in government reports, including nine in-depth interviews.
The findings align with a report by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) titled “Social Connections and Loneliness in OECD Countries,” published on Oct. 16, which found that men aged 50 or older, those living alone and those who are unemployed are especially prone to isolation.
Middle-aged men tend to rely on work-centered social networks while having weaker ties with neighbors or family, according to the OECD. Once they withdraw after losing a job or retiring, their social networks often collapse.
A 2025 social survey by Korea’s Ministry of Data and Statistics also highlights the lack of social connections among men in their 40s to 60s. Of men aged 60 or older with no social contacts outside of family or relatives, 29.6 percent lacked social connections, while the rate came to 27 percent for those in their 50s and 26.7 percent for those in their 40s, all significantly higher than those for people in their teens through 30s, which ranged from 16.5 percent to 22.4 percent.
The rates were also higher than those of women. Among women, the percentage of those who lacked social connections stood at 27.6 percent for those aged 60 or older, 19.3 percent for those in their 50s and 20.6 percent for those in their 40s.
Among widowed or divorced individuals, men in their 40s to 60s accounted for 72.3 percent, compared to 53 percent for women.
“Middle-aged men are less inclined to rely on community support compared to women of the same generation, and are therefore more prone to isolation,” said Han Sang-pil, the director of the Social Security Information Institute under the Korea Social Security Information Service. “They also tend to prioritize social hierarchy when meeting others and feel intense pressure from the belief that it is too late in life to start over, factors that further deepen isolation.”
Men in this cohort commonly begin interactions by asking what someone used to do for a living, indicating a strong tendency to assess social status first.
The percentage of respondents in the Data Ministry survey who said they had no one to turn to when feeling discouraged or depressed rose with age among men. The rate was 26 percent for men in their 50s, 31.3 percent for men aged 60 or older and 32.8 percent for men aged 65 or older.
Even retired men from stable families struggle to escape relationship poverty.
“When I went to libraries or academies and met unfamiliar people, they would casually speak down to me and ask intrusive questions, which made me uncomfortable,” said a 61-year-old man who wished to remain anonymous, who retired after working at a public institution. This social discomfort has left him with just an hour’s stroll as the one and only item on his daily itinerary.
Middle-aged men are also considered a high-risk group for solitary deaths. In many cases, the first people to discover and report such deaths are landlords, security guards, building managers or delivery workers, while family members or neighbors account for a smaller percentage.
“A new blind spot has emerged in the form of isolation and severed relationships that had not previously been recognized,” said a local government official.
One man who had studied in the United States and later ran a manufacturing business divorced after his company collapsed and then fell deep into relationship poverty. He caused disturbances at a community center while drunk and refused to take a job as a corporate taxi driver that he was offered, saying he was struggling with alcohol dependence. He was later found dead.
In another case, a 63-year-old man surnamed Kim living in Busan had been a well-paid employee at a major conglomerate for over than 20 years. After accepting early retirement and then getting divorced, he became a recipient of basic livelihood assistance. Overwhelmed by self-blame, he cut off all social relationships. Seven years ago, he narrowly survived a cerebral infarction.
He was able to escape relationship poverty after participating in video filming and editing programs, woodworking classes and cooking courses at a local welfare center. He now volunteers as a mentor helping young people with developmental disabilities.
“There is no one to say a warm word to people living alone who are isolated like I was,” Kim said. “If someone shows interest and helps them step outside, things can change.”
For these socially secluded sectors of society, sustained attention and support from local communities are essential to help them get back on their feet.
“Middle-aged men living alone have a weak capacity to build social networks and can fall into isolation immediately once they lose their jobs,” said Kim Eun-jeong, a professor of social welfare at Pukyong National University. “They must be supported through programs linked to work in one way or another.”
“Policies need to be further segmented by age and gender, not only for middle-aged men but also for elderly women and people in their 20s and 30s,” Prof. Kim added. “We also need continued outreach and cooperation between local governments and community representatives to persuade these households and help these groups rebuild social networks.”
This article was originally written in Korean and translated by a bilingual reporter with the help of generative AI tools. It was then edited by a native English-speaking editor. All AI-assisted translations are reviewed and refined by our newsroom.
BY SPECIAL REPORTING TEAM [[email protected]]
