‘He is handsome and popular and has maintained good grades. My friend wanted to do something special.’
Dear Quentin,
A friend of mine, who is far from rich, has a son who is graduating from high school. He was co-captain of the school basketball team during his junior and senior years, and his team placed second in the state championships this year. He is handsome and popular and has maintained good grades. My friend wanted to do something special for him.
She promised her son she would pay for a limousine ride to take him and his date to the senior prom. She put down $600 for a deposit, then asked if I could give her $1,600 to complete the payment. (She did not say what the ride included.) I said I did not have the money and suggested that maybe her son could share the ride with friends and split the cost.
Still, $2,200 for a limousine ride to a high school prom? Do people actually spend that kind of money? Please comment on what prom expenses are like. I do not have children, so I missed all that.
Astonished
Related: My job is offering me a payout. Should I take a $61,000 lump sum or $355 a month for life?
Dear Astonished,
Your friend made a promise for which you pick up the tab? No can do.
Limos are for those who can afford to ride in them. The most astonishing part about your letter is that your friend was only contributing $600 toward this extravagance and asked you to pay the rest. Her son may have good grades and a good broad bridge – as my dentist refers to a nice smile – that help him win the hearts of friends and relatives, but requesting so much money for something as random as a limo ride is the stuff that brass necks are made of.
At the very least, she could have given you a list of options of things you might like to do for her son’s prom, if you had expressed interest in being a part of this big night. But $1,600 is nearly the average monthly rent in the U.S. You could buy a Thermomix for that kind of money, if you wanted to spend it on something to spruce up your mealtimes. You could buy an iPhone 16 Pro and still have money left over. You could take yourself on a cruise.
Paying by the hour for a limo
A limo can cost a pretty penny – anywhere from $75 to $400 an hour – depending on the car, the city where you live and whether there is high demand on the night in question. “Most limo providers charge per hour or offer a package that includes a limo for a whole night,” according to Jet Black Transportation, a luxury car service in New York and New Jersey. “If a pick-up and drop-off at different locations are all you need, then the hourly rate will work better for you.”
Meanwhile, “booking a limo package is a better investment if it will be used most of the night,” the company adds. “Limo rental for prom usually lasts between three and six hours, and that time duration is adjusted to include all travel. More often than not, companies also include a few other amenities in these packages, like free drinks and options to be dropped off and picked up at different locations or even photo stops.”
You had the wisdom and healthy boundaries to say “thanks a lot, but no thanks” and to explain your decision. Whether it’s a prom, a destination wedding or a birthday or wedding gift, people often struggle with how to respond to such requests. It took this reader 25 years to ask for a separate check. Social anxiety often leaves us tongue-tied and makes us forget that the truth is usually the best way forward. It leaves little room for misunderstanding or, hopefully, resentment.
Spending thousands on one night
Prom goers might get lucky by picking up a tuxedo for $100 in a secondhand clothing store or bagging a lift in their parents’ old jalopy – surely the coolest way to travel – but commerce has taken over prom night in the same way that it has caused the cost of weddings to soar. (Why save $30,000 toward a down payment on a house when you can blow it all in one day?) But I get it. What 19-year-old doesn’t want to be James Bond for a night? It’s a rite of passage.
Call me a lace-curtain-twitching killjoy, but I worry that this kind of conspicuous consumption teaches kids that it’s OK to throw money away in order to spend an hour in traffic, waving out the window with a champagne glass. It doesn’t help young people learn about financial literacy. It starts with a limo ride, or an elaborate first communion or bar mitzvah that costs thousands of dollars, and where does it end? It doesn’t. It’s a life of champagne wishes, caviar dreams and credit-card bills.
If your friend can’t afford a limo, tell her to find an equally groovy, but less expensive, alternative.
Related: I paid $70 for a seat with more legroom, but two women grabbed similar empty seats for free. Is that fair?
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at [email protected], and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.
More columns from Quentin Fottrell:
My cousin died before claiming his late father’s $2 million estate. Will I get it?
‘He doesn’t seem to care’: My secretive father, 81, added my name to a bank account. What about my mom?
‘It might be another Apple or Microsoft’: My wife invested $100K in one stock and it exploded 1,500%. Do we sell?
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-Quentin Fottrell
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