Into the Light participants walk around the track at Shuford Stadium in Salisbury on Saturday. – Janet Briggs
Dozens of people gathered at Catawba College’s Shuford Stadium on Saturday before sunrise. They were wearing purple for the seventh annual Into the Light suicide and mental health awareness walk hosted by Rowan County United Way.
Starting at 6:30 a.m, people filled in the stadiums’ walkway to learn about the mental health resources available in Rowan County. Booths from Salisbury Pride, United Way and 988 Suicide and Crisis Line gave information about support groups and hotlines that are available with those struggling with mental health and those who have lost loved ones to suicide.
Participants also grabbed different color wristbands to indicate their relation to the cause with each indicating their connection to someone who they have lost or just their support for the issue. Many people present also submitted names, pictures and words about those they knew who lost their lives to suicide, which played on the stadium screen while participants walked.
The group gathered on the track and walked, as United Way Executive Director Jenny Lee read out the names of those lost to suicide and a bell rang for each name. Some walked in solitude, while others talked animatedly with others rounding the track. After the last person rounded the bend and ascended into the stadium seats, the United Way staff addressed the crowd.
The program opened in prayer and was followed by words from Catawba College Dean of Students Justin Tyler Owens. He emphasized the commitment of Catawba to supporting the event every year and the importance of talking about mental health issues openly rather than leaving them in darkness.
President of the United Way Board of Directors Jim Behmer then took the podium to tell his story of loss to suicide. In 2000, his aunt, Kim McGrath Millin, took her own life. She was a high school teacher in Virginia at the time, and he recalled how the loss impacted her students. Some of them spoke at her funeral, remembering what kind of person McGrath Millin was.
“I still remember one of my aunt’s students speaking there at the end of her memorial. This is what she said, ‘Good people make what they believe are good decisions at the time they are making them in the circumstances they are in,'” Behmer said.
His aunt’s passing started conversations for Behmer about mental health awareness and how to grieve a loss to suicide. It changed how he and his family supported each other and talked about the issue with some opening up about personal struggles and others not acknowledging the tragedy.
“Attending this event has helped me become more comfortable remembering and processing my aunt Kim’s passing. It has also allowed me the courage to discuss this with my family and help to keep memories of my aunt Kim alive in our family,” Behmer said.
Behmer introduced Vice President of the United Way Board of Directors Micah Ennis who discussed her own story of loss to suicide. Ennis attended her first Into the Light walk in 2022, which made her realize she had not fully processed the loss of her eldest brother who took his life.
Her brother, David Michael Melton took his life in July 2006. Ennis described Melton as volatile, sometimes fun and generous and other times frightening and cruel. Ennis and Melton had a tenuous relationship going into adulthood, with the final years of his life being particularly challenging due to his declining health. After incidents of profane language around her children, Ennis and the other mothers in the family started limiting the contact Melton had with his nieces and nephews.
“That decision shattered what little relationship we had left. And then he was gone. The year that followed was long, painful and stressful. I carried guilt. I wondered if I had protected the kids differently would he still be here. If I had communicated better, would he have felt more loved?” Ennis said.
As Ennis worked through this loss, she reframed her understanding of Melton with a new understanding of the impacts of trauma. Her journey to process and learn about mental health issues has reformed the guilt she felt initially into a more nuanced understanding of Melton’s conditions.
“Losing him the way we did does not erase the good. In fact, it deepens my appreciation for the complexity of life and love. Because of him, I stand before you more vulnerable, more connected and more aware of the preciousness of life,” Ennis said.
Community Outreach Coordinator Ali Edwards then addressed the crowd to thank everyone for coming and share her passion and connection for the cause. She also shared some of the resources that the county has for those struggling.
“One of the ways that begin to carry our grief and our love is by turning it into something meaningful. When we feel powerless, when we are aching for answers, sometimes the only thing we can do is to do something,” Edwards said. “Just by being here, you are making a difference. Your presence is a statement that we care, that we remember, and that we need better ways to prevent these tragedies.”
Starting on Oct. 21, grief counselor Tameka Brown with Healthy Rowan is hosting a bi-monthly support group for survivors of suicide loss called Reaching Into the Light. The group is free and open to any adult residents of Rowan County.
Additionally, this year the county with Daymark Recovery Services opened its first behavioral health urgent care that is open 24/7 with immediate walk-in support for those experiencing a mental health crisis, with no income requirements.
While not a direct fundraiser, this event raised over $18,000 in sponsorships for Rowan United Way that will go back into supporting these services. Lee finally addressed the crowd, arm-in-arm with the other speakers, with the sun hidden behind clouds but now high in the sky.
