DEAR ABBY: My husband and I love our 7- and 2-year-old grandchildren very much and enjoy spending time with them. The issue is, we feel we are being taken advantage of. Our daughter and her husband are still married but lead separate lives. He works out of town and comes home most weekends. Her weekends usually begin on Friday when she “has to” have someone keep the kids until he gets home (if he comes home). She returns on Sunday night when he leaves for work.
Our daughter expects us to pick up the grandkids from school and/or the babysitter on Friday and keep them every weekend. She doesn’t ask; it’s assumed we will do it. If we say we can’t, or make other plans, all hell breaks loose. It’s the end of the world because she has to change her plans. We have tried talking calmly with her about it, but then she threatens to not let us see the children at all. We’re exhausted and don’t know what to do. — VEXED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR VEXED: Tell your entitled daughter FIRMLY that she will have to make other arrangements for the children on two weekends a month because you and your husband are exhausted and need time to yourselves. Remind her that when she started a family, the children became her (not your) primary responsibility. You have generously given her free babysitting services for many years. Those services are expensive, as she will learn when she starts pricing them out. I seriously doubt she will react by depriving you of seeing them. It would be cutting off her nose to spite her face.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
