Evangelist Lovette Obiakalusi, is the convener, Women of Valour Global Mission. She was one of the speakers at a Singles Fellowship Conference held at Dominion Church, Lekki, on February 14, 2026, in commemoration of the Valentine’s Day.
Obiakalusi who has been married since she was just 19 and has enjoyed over three decades of marital bliss took the audience through the rudiments of genuine love as well as the secrets to a happy marriage.
Daily Sun cornered her for a chat after the event.
Valentine’s Day was few days ago. What message do you have for the young people, married and unmarried?
To me, the story of Valentine is the story of love and we are very confident with the story of love because Jesus, the Son of God, taught us what it means to love. The Bible said that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
So, for me, love should be an everyday thing. For some people, Valentine’s Day might be very special. I have nothing against it but love should be celebrated in our everyday life because God loved us and we ought to love one another. So, I urge us to love not just for Valentine ‘s Day but every day of our lives.
You said you got married early, at 19. How did you cope and what has kept you happy in the union?
Upbringing matters a lot. You know, when Titus in the Bible talked about the older women teaching the younger women, it’s very apt. Because of the background that I came from, I had it smooth initially, apart from character issues. Like I said, I was always an angry person. I was always angry.
If you get me angry, we get down with it. But thank God for my background because my husband brought me to God early. So, finding Jesus transformed everything. The whole journey became seamless. That’s why I call my husband, my Lord. He modeled Christ to me and he’s part of the good life that I am living today and I am very grateful.
So, it was my upbringing, my parents, and my husband that made early marriage easy for me.
What was the turning point in this anger issues?
The moment I found God, He took away my anger like a piece of shit. I was literally transformed. But, you know, Romans 12 talks about you not conforming but by the renewal of your mind.
Once you come into Christ, he says you are a new creature. He says old things are past. That was the breaking point. Jesus in my life broke every bad habit and every trait that was not found in Christ. By the fruit of the Spirit, I became a new person. I no longer get angry.
Before you offend me now, it’s very difficult because I have now learned to choose happiness, going on the principles of God.
I believe that if we do marriage right, the kingdom of marriage will work. The rate of divorce is so alarming that it got me thinking what actually went wrong. The problem is that we have left the design, the blueprint that the creator and initiator of marriage had put forward for us.
We are now chasing our own social media ideas. We learn all manner of things from people that have been divorced 50 times and they are giving us marriage counsel and we say their counsel is the best.
But the manufacturer has a manual for you to look into and see how the product is supposed to function. And that’s God and the Bible. You can’t throw the Bible away and say marriage will work.
No, and it can’t change. The Bible said that the word of God is here. So, if God is the initiator of marriage, it’s as simple as taking what it says about marriage, running with it, implementing it and seeing if it will work for you.
We know there are difficult people, no doubt. But God says we should forbear one another. Be patient. Look at love. Love does not end. We preach now that love ends but it’s not true.
How about social media influence in today’s marriages?
There are so many fallacies that we hear today from social media that are crippling the whole marriage programme. We need to go back to the beginning. What does the word of God say concerning marriage? Effective communication, the financial issues, the in-law matter, everything you can think about, everything that might bring conflict is there in the word of God resolved. He will give you grace. There is grace for being a wife. There is grace for being a husband. So ask God for grace.
‘Lord, this husband of mine that you’ve given to me, how do I submit to him?’ He will show you. There are no two marriages that are the same. But God will give you a blueprint as to how to handle your home.
What he will give you might not be what he’s giving me. Even though we have common principles, there are ways that he can teach you wisdom, so that you build your home and you become the envy of so many.
I am really very passionate about marriage. We have to be very intentional about it.
Considering the alarming divorce rate today, what are the causes?
Everybody wants to do things their own way. I told you the marriage we’re talking about has a manufacturer. The manufacturer has a manual.
If you buy any product and you want the product to function properly, you go to the manual to check how to operate it. Why are we so complacent in checking the Bible to see how marriage is supposed to work? It’s simple. We are now being told that you can walk away.
The man talks to you, you don’t like it, you can call him a narcissist. The woman talks to you, you don’t like it, you call her a narcissist. We label our partners, and you practice it wholeheartedly. Marriage is selflessness. It’s not what they are telling us marriage is. Marriage is selflessness. You die. You literally die to yourself. Love yourself. You have to love yourself. Everybody loves everybody. Don’t take shit from anybody. That’s the story we hear now. So you can easily walk away.
I’m not just talking to women. I’m talking to men too. The Bible says, ‘Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.’
He died for the church. He died for his bride. He put everything down.
So, as a husband, you’re supposed to love your wife like Christ loved the church and was willing and even laid down his life just to redeem her. Is there anything that we do today that Christ will not redeem us from? Even in cases of murder. He liberates you. He sets you free. Even, when you go through the consequences somehow. But you have the assurance of salvation. Have you not heard? He said he made them male and female. He said, for this reason, the husband shall leave his father and the mother. He shall be joined to the wife and the two shall become one flesh. So that it is not one plus one equal to two. It is one plus one equal to one.
What lessons have you learned about life?
Life is spiritual. Life is all about God. From conception, to birth, to living, all orchestrated by God. You have no input. So, your assignment on earth is to find what God has called you to do and do it. That’s purpose.
Life is about purpose. Anything you’re doing that is not according to God’s design and plan, to me, is a waste of time. Find your purpose.
If you find your purpose, you’ll find fulfillment. I have discovered that there is nothing that I have that belongs to me. They all belong to God. Check it out. I came to this world without anything. I keep struggling for everything and I will die and leave everything. You’re not going with them. So what’s the essence of this struggle? Take life easy. Life is very simple. If you understand it, you live a happy life. And what matters the most is happiness. Be joyful. Serve your God and the interest of his kingdom and you’ll be a happier person.
And what can you say about today’s event?
Coach May (Mary Chinda of Arise TV, convener of the Singles Fellowship Conference) is always ahead and today; I thank God once again that she has been able to fulfill God’s mandate upon her life. Single Ladies Conference Lagos 2.0 has come and is dusted and lives have been touched. It’s not about the multitude.
