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“I can’t imagine how many girls have said, ‘He hasn’t hit me, therefore he’s not abusing me’.”
Those are the words Jade Rasmussen, 28, shared as she reflected on her abusive ex being jailed last October.
A survivor of coercive control, intimate partner violence and domestic violence, she courageously spoke to the Irish Sunday Mirror about her story.
She shared how savage Aidan Walsh was jailed, despite the fact they were not married or living together, in the hope other young women may report controlling and abusive behaviour from a partner.
Jade suffered “extreme psychological distress” including PTSD and depression in the aftermath of her relationship with the coward, who was sentenced to 30 months in prison, with 15 months of it suspended for his crimes – including a vicious assault on Jade in Co Clare.
Jade, who met Walsh when she was a teenager, was in a relationship with him for eight years until a night in 2020 at a holiday home in Co Clare.
The tipping point came when vile Walsh inflicted a barbaric attack on her which so horrendous it left her attempting to take her own life – and resulted in “brutal and endless” life changes.
In her powerful victim impact statement, Jade told how he left her in “extreme pain” in the wake of the brutal assault. He choked and kicked her and dragged her down a flight of wooden stairs, with each step “thumping heavily” into her back and spine.
Jade told the Irish Sunday Mirror: “We decided to go down to Clare for a surf trip.
“I had told him that I wanted to break up with him, and that I was interested in somebody else.
“This was in the early hours of the morning in that day. He assaulted me. He punched me in the back, he tripped me up.
“He kicked me in the back. He strangled me. The main thing was that he strangled me.
“The statistics for strangulation in intimate partner violence, I don’t think it should be said lightly, if you strangle someone, the chances of death by that person’s hand go up sharply.”
Following the horrendous attack, Jade believed Walsh had left Clare and returned to Dublin.
In the aftermath of the assault, she attempted to take her own life before he returned and proceeded to drag her down the stairs.
Jade recalled: “I thought he had left the house. I went upstairs and tried to hang myself.
“Then he came back in and he cut me down. And when he cut me down, he dragged me down the stairs by my feet.
“He pulled me over the banister, dragged me down the stairs by my feet, and proceeded to assault me more. [He] threw me into his van, drove me to a random petrol station in Portlaoise, and dumped me there with my dog after calling my sister, my best friend at the time, to come collect me.”
It was with the help of Sgt Eugene McCarthy and Garda Sinead O’Connor, whose support Jade has praised, that she opened up.
According to the latest Women’s Aid report on coercive control in Ireland, from January 2019 to May last year, there were 10 reported cases of coercive control which resulted in a conviction.
In every single reported cases, the perpetrator was male and the victim was female.
In 58 per cent of reported cases, the perpetrator was already known to the Gardaí (often having multiple prior convictions).
Women’s Aid CEO Sarah Benson told the Irish Sunday Mirror: “The commencement of the crime of coercive control in 2019 was extremely important.
“It finally created an offence that truly reflects the experience of so many victims/survivors who are subjected to persistent and relentless tactics of abuse which shrink their world and leave them feeling trapped and unable to leave an oppressive and dangerous relationship. Previously, criminal charges were focused on single incidents, usually of physical assaults.
“This did not capture the experience of many living in fear.
“There can be a common misunderstanding of abuse, where people assume that physical or sexual violence must have occurred for domestic abuse to be criminalised.
“This narrow interpretation misses the reality that domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviours by perpetrators which, in combination, achieve power and control over a partner.
“This pattern can include but does not have to include physical or sexual abuse.
“We also know that where there is physical violence, there are almost always patterns of these other abusive and controlling behaviours.
“Having legislation on coercive control has the power to be transformative in understanding the many different tactics and behaviours, which result in a devastating pattern of concerted abusive behaviour.
“Coercive control is domestic abuse, and all Women’s Aid services are available to those who are experiencing, or have experienced, it.
“We encourage anyone who thinks they might be experiencing coercive control or any form of domestic abuse, or is worried about someone they know or love, to call the Women’s Aid National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900 or go to http://www.womensaid.ie.”
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