After deciding that her big day would be child free, her sister and a bridesmaid have since fallen pregnant and it’s causing a lot of issues.
The bride wrote on the ‘Would I Be The A–hole’ thread on Reddit she and her groom “made it clear at Christmas with the family, and went over it again at Easter, that we were still having a child free wedding but we would offer to pay for a babysitter who would be about 5 minutes away from the venue”.
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“Cut to father’s day (June 15th), and my sister mentions she thinks her baby should be fine at the wedding as long as she is holding him,” the post continued.
The bride explained she reminded her sister that it’s a child free wedding, to which she responded “then I guess we aren’t going.”
“I told her about the offer for a babysitter close by, but she didn’t respond. So I said I respect whatever decision she makes and left it at that,” the post read.
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The bride added that she hasn’t heard anything else from her sister but knows she has called their mother to “complain about it”.
“She claimed she never was told the wedding was child free, and thinking back, it’s possible they didn’t know as they often doesn’t join family events because they are ‘sick’,” the bride continued.
“I also don’t think she ever took the effort to RSVP online, so she may not have seen the invitation was only for her and her husband.”
But now after offering to pay for babysitting, she’s thinking about cancelling that.
“My bridesmaid has decided to organise her own arrangements for the baby, so she won’t need to use the babysitter. So, I’m now considering rescinding my offer for a babysitter,” she added.
“It will cost us easily $300 to rent the space and pay the sitter, and I would not be surprised if despite saying they will come and need the babysitter that they will cancel last minute.
“I also wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t respect the no child rule and tried to sneak the baby into the reception.
“However, they do not have the money to pay for their own sitter, so by doing so, I will be essentially uninviting them from the wedding.”
The bride ended her post by asking the forum if she would be the a–hole if she “told my sister the offer for a babysitter was off the table”.
She added that her sister’s baby will be six weeks old at the time of the wedding and her bridesmaid’s will be seven.
Redditors didn’t hold back when giving advice to the bride on this matter, including explaining the needs of newborn children who cannot be away from their mothers for extended periods of time.
“Newborns are difficult for mum in particular to leave alone for a length of time (friend). The baby is not going to be all right at the wedding either (sister) in the sense that baby might still cry,” one explained.
“Not to mention mom herself will have to recover from childbirth. She will be lactating.
“And why would you even think your child free wedding would strike your own sister as newborn free? Most people wouldn’t imagine that kind of thoughtlessness from their own fam.”
Another commented: “Lol. I don’t think OP understands how insane it is to navigate being a new mother and leaving your tiny little baby alone with a sitter you barely know (or honestly, just about anyone, lol).
“It’s difficult even when they’re a couple of years old and go to kindergarten, let alone when they’re so young they need you to be around 24/7.
“I wonder if OP really thought this through. She wants her sister there, but sister won’t come if baby can’t come.”
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One former bride said they too had a child-free wedding but made an exception for babies due to their needs.
“I had a child free wedding but made exceptions for new parents in our wedding party as they have a place of honor and are also doing a lot for us,” they explained.
Another Redditor replied: “Child free usually means you don’t want kids running around and screaming. Not nursing newborns.”
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The bride responded, thanking the forum for their feedback, before digging her heels in.
“My lack of knowledge surrounding newborns has been made abundantly clear, and it has been a chance for me to learn,” she wrote in a follow up comment.
“Nonetheless, My partner and I are set on a child free wedding, no exceptions for newborns, and we are fully willing to accept that some may choose not to come because of this.”
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